Over in the best damned blog in the business, on December 23rd, Libby made a post that was long overdue and that I thank her for. It was specifically in reference to my post in this blog from December 2nd, and there was also a lot of similarities to my post on January 10, which was reposted in her blog on July 16. I will confirm that despite these measures of support, Libby doesn't agree with me totally. There are things we vociferously disagree on. There are things I'm going to put in this post she would most probably disagree on. But that's okay. What matters is that we're both acknowledging that what we're putting out there now is a lot closer to the truth than what was out there.

Two and a half years ago, a lot of lies were spread about me (and it should be pointed out that a lot of what Libby had said on her blog was deleted by her months ago), and I've gotten at least some chances to say some things about them, but given how long had passed and Libby's relative silence, it was easy for those so inclined to believe I was just making it up. My real friends knew I was telling the truth all along, and even when I wasn't saying anything, that what was being put out there couldn't possibly be true.

But now you've heard it from both sides, the final needed link in the logic train:

• Rob was never Libby's e-boyfriend. He was just a guy who proclaimed himself to be such out of a chat joke he posted without consent, and put both myself and Libby into a hell of a position. We thought he was our friend, and didn't want him to be hurt. Libby told me she didn't want anything to change between us, and to trust her and let her handle it. That's what I did. Nobody's ever going to convince me that's wrong. When it appeared like that trust had been broken, I told Rob just as soon as I could. I didn't have to do that, but I did, going above and beyond in loyalty.
• Rob, my supposed friend and brother viciously turned on me despite the fact that I did nothing wrong by him, and did everything he could think of to hurt me. This treachery soon included the idea of using other people and their blogs to attack me, not only not caring that it would cause problems between us and could cause the end of those friendships, but even HOPING for that. The people he did this to and their blogs are just as much his victims here as I am, even if they don't realize it.
• My real friends had the wisdom to see this wasn't some mutual thing that should be stayed out of, and the loyalty to not tolerate what he was doing. People who weren't really my friends, simply refused to care, which is intolerable, particularly in a certain case of someone who always demands to be backed up in her claims of victimization by... well, practically everyone from the President and major professional sports figures on down. This is someone I was always there for, but who was never there for me. I suppose it was just my turn to be painted as her victimizer so she can have all of everyone's pity... but don't worry, everyone else will have THEIR turn soon enough.
  

I've been criticized because supposedly it was wrong to "publically call people out". All I have to say about that is that they had no objections to their name and property being used to attack me, so they've forfeited their claim to object to their name being used to set the record straight, no matter which alleged tragedies they try to exploit into a "Get Out of Jail Free" card in this matter.

I want to compare and contrast that to Matt, who in his December 19 post (unfortunately his blog structure doesn't allow direct linking to an article) realized the same crime was being committed against him as Rob committed against other blogs. To wit, someone was trying to drag their fight with me, his friend, into his blog, using it and him as a tool. Rather than ignore this, he showed real integrity and loyalty and put an immediate stop to it. (I also had an innocuous comment deleted, but this was at my suggestion in the name of peace.) Notice that Matt didn't have to totally take my side here... all he had to do was care enough to not allow this problem, to nip it right in the bud and make it clear their name and property will not be used like that. He did so, when others have failed in that simple task. And I thank him for that.

The only other loose end to tie up is those people who cold-bloodedly exploited this disagreement to get what they want, not caring what was best for Libby or the community. They are a large reason I was banned from IOP over this, and never got to return. Specifically, I got left out to avoid the continuation of the fights they started. I believe that this hurt Libby, and hurt the community. If not for this, the community may have been considered to be worth saving. The fact that IOP is gone makes this issue moot at present, but the people who I'm referring to know who you are, and your misdeeds have neither been forgiven nor forgotten. You deserved banning far more than I ever did, and I deserve this being set right. Should Libby ever start up a new community, redress will definitely be discussed. And in the meantime, you should definitely be ashamed of yourselves. You are pathetic excuses for friends and for human beings.

To conclude, there is one major problem I have with Libby's post. It makes it sound like all fault is on her, and that's definitely not the case. There's a lot I did wrong too, a lot I did to force her down some of these paths. I catalogued a lot of my own misdeeds (which were against Libby and Libby alone) in my January post, and I will apologize to her again, and thank her for not giving up on me either.

In the meantime, this ugly incident that's been there for 2 1/2 years has finally been lifted away and the light of truth shined underneath. Those who aren't exactly good people have been exposed for what they are... just as those people who really are quality have been revealed.

I'm just glad it's over.