Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Welcome to OOWF Independence .. 2004? Wow, I am behind.

We start off with 'Nature Girl' Penny Lane in the ring. A chant of "You tapped out!" starts as Penny looks to be in a FOUL mood after losing her OOWF IoP title to Emily Mundae on the last show. "Shut up!" she growls into the microphone. She then calls out... Jillian Lane? Jillian, with her new OOWF World Title come out to a pretty impressive pop from the crowd. She heads into the ring to see what her sister wants.

"Jillian, Jillian, Jillian... look at you," she starts as wolf whistles come from those who take that comment the wrong way. "You're the OOWF World Champion. And that's quite the achievement! However... you don't know yet that winning that belt is only part of the battle. It's *holding* the belt that's the hard part. But you see, I can't let family go through hard times like that. Mom always told me to look out for my little sister. How can I just blindly ask you to pass the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving knowing that I let you go through losing the title like that? So what I'm going to do... is I'm going to take that belt and hold it... on your behalf of course."

Jillian looks hesitant. "Well, I do appreciate your concern, but I won this belt and I think I'll hold onto it."

Penny grabs the belt as her face is a twisted mask of rage. "Listen to me, you little *bleep*! It wasn't a request! GIVE ME THE *BLEEP* BELT!"

Jillian looks shocked for a moment... and then proceeds to spit right in Penny's face! Penny pauses for a second... and then slaps Jillian! Jillian responds with a punch and the fight is on! After a few minutes of vicious brawling, Jillian gains the upper hand and Penny rolls out of the ring and walks away backwards. The camera catches her yelling "You're dead without me, you ingrateful *bleep*!" Jillian celebrates in the ring with her belt.

(Jillian Lane gained 3 points of overness from this segment. 'Nature Girl' Penny Lane gained 1 point of overness from this segment. Jillian Lane's turn was completed, and she is now a face. Jillian Lane gained 1 point of overness from this turn.)

Pete Gas vs Matt Sutton.

Match Background: Pete Gas was a former henchman to Matt Sutton who turned on him. Matt wants revenge.

The Match: Sutton slams Pete Gas. Fallaway slam by Matt Sutton puts down Pete Gas. BRUTAL face-first slam from Sutton on Gas. DEATH VALLEY DRIVAH~! by Matt Sutton just KILLS Pete Gas! Pete Gas is in trouble. Mattitude Adjustment! 1....2....3. Matt Sutton gives a murderous look toward Pete Gas...and attacks! Gas gets dropped to the canvas, then battered with a barrage of rights and lefts. Sutton leaves the ring having left Gas down and out.

My Opinion: Bad match which brought absolutely nothing to the table and was a waste of time. DUD.

(Pete Gas didn't really sell very much, which hurt the match rating.)

After the match, Matt grabs a mic. "So, Lovette is the new boss around here? Well, why don't you get your cute butt down here... NOW." Brittany 'Tease' Lovette comes out, looking very unhappy about Matt's tone.

Matt continues, "Hey, big promotion. Congratulations. Truth be told, I didn't like Hines either. But what you're forgetting here is just who helped you get to this position. Our sponsors Sutton Burger got you here. *I* got you here. And I come here, and I look at the match card tonight, and I'm wrestling freaking Pete Gas?! I should be taking on Jillian Lane for MY title! Now, you make the match!"

"Hold it!" Brittany interrupts. "I am your boss! You don't talk to me like that! I will book you for a championship match when and IF I feel like it! And if you talk to me like that again, I don't care WHO your parents are, you will be fired!"

Matt looks angry. "This isn't over." he promises.

(Brittany 'Tease' Lovette gained 3 points of overness from this segment.)

Dave Adams vs Willow Crowley.

Match Background: None.

The Match: Bodyslam by Willow. Powerful Spear by Willow Crowley. I'd like to see him spear Goldberg, just for my amusement. There's a two count on the pin. Willow Crowley gets taken down out of nowhere! Pliskin hits a HARD spinning kick to the jaw. Willow takes a flying neckbreaker from Dave Adams. Covers for a quick two count. Vicious kick to the teeth from Dave Adams. Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! Pliskin hits a dropkick on Willow Crowley and gets right back up. Willow Crowley powers out of a Dave Adams headlock. Pliskin gets hit with a HUGE clothesline. There's a two count on the pin. Impaler DDT by Willow Crowley just SPIKES Dave Adams down! Pin, but Pliskin is out just before the three count. Running knee lift from Willow Crowley. Willow hits a right hand. Willow walks into a drop toe hold. Second rope flying axe handle, Willow goes down. One day, Pliskin might even consider coming off the top with that. You know...for more impact and stuff. Springboard dropkick from Dave Adams. Nicely done. Willow Crowley can barely stand. Here it comes - Contract Hit. 1....2...3, it's finished. Willow Crowley has a temper tantrum, kicking the ropes and punching the turnbuckles.

My Opinion: Solid bout, but they could do a lot better. ***

(Willow Crowley lost 1 point of overness from this match. Dave Adams gained 2 points of overness from this match. )

Willow Crowley is walking backstage. Emily Mundae goes to talk to her, but she ignores it and continues to walk on without even acknowledging Emily.

(Willow Crowley gained 2 points of overness from this segment.)

Boffo Machine vs Xlorep DarkHelm.

Match Background: None.

The Match: DarkHelm takes a headbutt from Boffo Machine. Bodyslam by Boffo Machine. Massive backbreaker on DarkHelm and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Boffo Machine scores with a big spinebuster. Brittany 'Tease' Lovette has climbed up onto the apron! B. Machine turns...and falls for the distraction! Xlorep DarkHelm runs at Boffo Machine from behind...but misses! Xlorep DarkHelm collides with Brittany 'Tease' Lovette! Xlorep DarkHelm is in trouble. Sweet Chin Music! 1....2....3. Xlorep DarkHelm goes nuts, attacking the referee! DDT! The referee is out!

My Opinion: I'll give it a *3/4 rating. If you think of it like currency, it's a 1.75. You can't even take the subway with that anymore here. Work harder man.

Sean McIver vs Jillian Lane.

Match Background: This match is for the OOWF World title. Jillian Lane has been OOWF World champion since 27 June 2004.

The Match: STIFF~! chop lights up Jill who covers up to try and stop the agonizing PAIN! Jill blocks a kick from Sean McIver. Lightning kick by Jill on McIver. McIver walks into a face crusher variation. Has anyone's face ever really been crushed by one of those though? Sean McIver gets knocked to the ground by Jill, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Off the top - 5 Star Canary Splash, forget about it. 1....2...3! Jillian Lane climbs each turnbuckle in turn, working the crowd as she celebrates her victory

My Opinion: **1/4 rating for this one. Scott Keith may say that it's 'Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling', but not for me, buddy. Got to work harder to impress me.

The OOWF World title has gained in image.

Brittany 'Tease' Lovette is backstage with 'Nature Girl' Penny Lane. Brittany 'Tease' Lovette was verbally abusing Jillian Lane on behalf of 'Nature Girl' Penny Lane. There's no better way to build up a fighter than to promote her as someone who needs a manager to do their fighting talk. That's almost as bad as having a friend ask a girl out for you. Not that I've ever done that. No, really, I haven't. Just concentrate on your booking, ok!

(Brittany 'Tease' Lovette gained 2 points of overness from this segment. 'Nature Girl' Penny Lane gained 1 point of overness from this segment.)

'Nature Girl' Penny Lane vs Emily Mundae.

Match Background: This match is for the OOWF Institution of Power title. Emily Mundae has been OOWF Institution of Power champion since 27 June 2004.

The Match: Penny uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! Emily takes a NICE hurrancarana from 'Nature Girl' Penny Lane. There's a two count on the pin. Emily Mundae comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. STIFF high kick on Penny by Emily Mundae. Spin kick by Emily Mundae to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. Covers for a quick two count. NASTY Tiger Suplex by Emily Mundae on Penny. Hooks the leg! ONE...TWO...NO! THERE IT IS! A legdrop to the BACK OF THE HEAD! I swear, that makes any match just a little bit better. I don't mind telling you that every time I see it, that's for sure. 'Nature Girl' Penny Lane powers out of a Emily Mundae headlock. Lightning kick by Penny on Emily. There's a two count on the pin. Tor-NADO DDT from 'Nature Girl' Penny Lane, Emily got planted! Pinfall attempt: ONE...TWO...NO! I would have bought that as the finish! Penny uses a basement dropkick to the knee and it looks like it might be TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL~! 'Nature Girl' Penny Lane strikes Emily. Emily Mundae comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Flying elbow from Emily Mundae connects. SHINING WIZARD~! on Penny by Emily! Emily Mundae floors 'Nature Girl' Penny Lane. Here it comes...Snapshooter! 'Nature Girl' Penny Lane is almost unconscious with pain! Willow Crowley quickly comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Emily Mundae turns around. Willow Crowley spins Emily around. Willow Crowley hits the F5! The referee calls for the DQ because of the interference of Willow! Penny and Willow tie Emily Mundae up in the ropes, then start punching away at her until referees run down and break it up.

My Opinion: A ***3/4 rating! Yay!

(Willow Crowley's turn was completed, and she is now a heel. Willow Crowley gained 1 point of overness from this turn. The OOWF Institution of Power title has gained in image.)

E-mail:

Doink: "How about booking me against Mr. Jones? I'm sure we could do some pretty entertaining stuff that the fans would like." Yeah, Doink vs. Virgil. A main event anywhere in the country. I'm sure Sean could write fanfics out of it at least.

Tracy Smothers: "I was thinking, how about giving me some matches with Rob Conway? I think we'd be able to do some good work together given the chance." Or how about not?

Road Agent: "You overused Willow Crowley at the last show, the fans started to get sick of seeing her." Who are these idiots we perform in front of? That's just silly.

Show Report: "Independence was attended by 206 people! We made $4120 from ticket sales."

NWATNA goes Global. In all the fallout, Rob Conway gets an open contract with another organization.

Tracy Smothers breaks his leg for 7 months. I offer him a release... and he takes it!

Goldberg has left WWE. Not like he'll sign for us.

We made $72,000 off merchandise this month! Sweet!

Finance department is happy about us making a profit.

Last month, Nathan Miller turned 25 and Emily Mundae turned 22.

WWE signs David Flair. Good for them, he needs to be used.

Garrison Cade is out with an arm injury for 2 months... ah, he's on open contract anyway, might as well keep him around.

The staff is happy with both Emily as the OOWF IOP Champ and Jill as the OOWF World Champ. They consider the two titles equal in prestige.

Top babyfaces:
1. Jillian Lane
2. Emily Mundae
3. Boffo Machine
4. Nathan Miller

Top heels:
1. Matt Sutton
2. 'Nature Girl' Penny Lane
3. Willow Crowley

Sophie says Jillian Lane is the top draw of the fed and should be the focus of the shows.

EWRevenge.com says that Jillian Lane is the best wrestler in the world, but says she's been criticized for working too stiff on occassion.

WrestlingHeat.com says that Willow Crowley will be in Playboy.

On grapplefanatics.net, Scott Keith again compares Jillian Lane to The Dynamite Kid and Helen Elizabeth praises the work of Brittany 'Tease' Lovette,

Nothing new in the Ryland Report.

That's all. Be sure to catch us next "month" for OOWF Hostile Intent!